The 'Ole Crawl-over

To the ass who parked on top of me in the Central Market parking lot:

You suck. How could you NOT notice you were like three feet over your right-side parking space line? Just so you know, I couldn't even get to my drivers side door, much less open it up.

Did I mention you suck?

After I loaded my groceries into the back of my perfectly parked SUV I stomped around both our cars for a good five minutes or so, just daring you to come out. Finally I reached in my glove box, from the passenger side, to retrieve a leftover Valentine card. However, a love note I did not proceed to write.

After I rammed your Valentine underneath your driver's side windshield wiper blade, I went back around my car and began the very arduous process of ungracefully crawling over the center console into the driver's seat. Seriously, you really suck.

I sincerely hope you enjoyed my little note and perhaps even take its advice.

And as an after thought following a brief cooling-off period, I no longer "hope you lose a limb." That's just mean, but you still SUCK!

Very Famous People

So, we ran into these nice folks...who were NOT in costume...at a gas station...on a road trip...with my mom and daughter...on a Sunday afternoon...in the middle of nowhere...

That look on my daughter's face we later learned was her holding her breath. She described them as smelling like CABBAGE!

We had simply stopped to fuel up at this random gas station and my mom went inside for a potty break. You'd have to really know her, but after a couple of minutes, my 78 year old mother comes practically running out of the station, motioning wildly. "Get your camera!" "You've gotta see these people!" (in between uncontrollable giggling) "Hurry, Tara, where's your camera!"

I quickly poised my camera from inside my truck, waiting for them to come out and my mom was like, "NO honey, you gotta go INSIDE and get a GOOD picture!"

So...she sends my daughter and me inside and I'm trying to be all stealthy with the camera, like I'm pretending to inspect a Ruffles label, when the lady TOTALLY pegs me and says: "Oh, sweetie, do you want your picture taken with us?? We're VERY famous. We'd love to take a picture with you, don't be shy."

And...the next thing I did probably reveals far too much about my mothering instincts, because I totally pushed my unsuspecting daughter into the frame so as to get the "GOOD" photo my fun-loving mom had demanded. Like a tetanus shot, the whole experience only lasted a few seconds and we felt pretty good afterwards.

The couple was really friendly and the lady did give me some good intel on who she was as she explained how "very famous" they were.

I would encourage both of my blog readers (if I have that many by now) to search "flash jordan Austin city lights" on YouTube and you too can experience these nice folks, minus the smell of cabbage.

Belated Valentine

Dang it, but I meant to post this on Valentine's!

We rarely do fast food, but we were particularly busy on Valentine's day so we stopped at Chik-Filet (spelling?) after school where they serve these yummy waffle fries and this was my surprise.

Pretty cool, huh.

Juicy Valentine?

Seriously, WTH??

If you know about the clothing brand Juicy Couture, then you know it's generally targeted toward teenagers and young adults. That said, they do make some awfully cute clothes for little girls and babies too and I have been guilty of buying a few pieces for my daughter here and there. I've justified these purchases based on cuteness alone, plus the fact that I DON'T buy her any of the items with "JUICY" written across the ass of the pants, or any of the suggestive t-shirts, etc...

So as an occasional Juicy purchaser, how can this particular Valentine bug me SO MUCH?? My son is clueless of course, but I found it while I was rifling through his candy hunting for just one more mini Twix.

Color me paradox, I know, I know...

It's one thing to buy a few items of clothing for a little girl who has no idea what brand she's wearing but it's another thing entirely when a 4th grade little girl directly gives the very innuendo of the brand to MY son!

Wait. Isn't it even worse for the mom to buy these Valentines for her little girl to give to the little 4th grade boys...at a private Christian school no less?

I'll bet they cost a small fortune too. I will be avoiding this brand all together, at least in the near future, so that my eventual 4th grade daughter won't be asking me to buy her these Valentines some day. That would be the point at which I would really have to explain the paradox and I'm just not prepared to do that.

It's kinda like the whole Victoria's Secret "Pink" line, though Juicy was first with the whole, write-it-across-your-butt thing. Still, "pink" and "juicy" should be reserved for my burger, not my daughter's or my son's girlfriend's ass.

"Opportunity"

"Opportunity?" My daughter's tiny voice from the back seat... She WAS paying attention!

On the drive home from a nice dinner out in a nearby town, my 11 year-old son was telling my friend and I about this girl in his class and how she talks funny. He continued, "...and sometimes if it's a big word like...well...somebody say a big word??"

Without a second's hesitation, the 7 year-old piped in with "opportunity" and we all fell apart laughing and impressed at her quick wit. "Good one," my son said.

That's the thing about my daughter, she hears everything, even when I think she's nodded out or uninterested... It's gotten me in trouble, A LOT actually.

I'd like to take this opportunity to give a shout-out to my precocious little 7 year-old and her impetuous responsiveness.

Missed The Fever

I need a new thermometer.

Mom of the year (once again).

My 11 year old tells me he doesn't feel good. He's a tough one to deal with when he's sick...like most men. I took his temperature, but he didn't have any fever. I had to admit he felt pretty warm, but I took it several times so I was unconvinced.

I FORCED him to get dressed anyway and it is dress uniform day, so this was an especially tall order. I then MADE him eat breakfast. I did at least give him a Claritan, jeez!

It was right about then that he barfed.

...We just got home from the doctor and it's strep throat. Doc says he's one of those rare kids who presents for strep with an upset stomach, not the typical sore throat.

And, ya, it turns out he was running a fever of 102.