So, I see some clinically crazy person removed their stupid blog from the internet. This person fancies herself as a brilliant writer, artist and general humanitarian and she wrote a whole bunch of bull shit about me on her ridiculously self-serving blog about a year ago. My family and I all read it and just rolled our eyes.
I'll admit it was really hard for a second not to comment on one about me in particular as it was actually pretty defamatory, but I'm so glad I never acknowledged it. When we parted ways...well, when I threatened to forward about fifteen emails to the new "love" in her life if she didn't leave my family and me alone, it was over on that day. Completely over. Her self-protection mode was activated and I never heard from her again, as expected, so she was left to spin the "story" however suited her latest persona and I never gave it a second thought.
I've never written about this, and I hate to even acknowledge it with too much of my valuable time generally spent doing fun things and not drudging up a painful past caused by a former prostitute, stripper, current druggie, uneducated, pathologically needy, and dishonest woman who threw her baby away....twice. Oh excuse me, that just came out.
NOTE TO SELF: the next time my amazing Mom goes out and finds my birth-mother for the first time and the birth-mother confides to such a turbulent, not to mention illegal and disgusting past early in our new "relationship," RUN AWAY.... You can't rescue someone like that or ever make the damage of their past go away. Please Self, you must listen to your gut next time and stop trying to help people! Even when they complain about how hard their circumstances are, turning them onto the joy of Botox or buying them high-end gifts won't miraculously change them into sober, sophisticated, honest and psychologically healthy individuals.
Over the couple of years since I explicitly told her "get the hell out of my life" however, a few (3) of her long time friends have secretly contacted me to lament of her annoying narcissism and constant need for validation. It's pretty funny I guess, so consequently they feel the need to forward me many of her needy posts from Facebook or tell me about some first grade-looking art she's put on the web. That's how I found out about her blog where she threw me under the bus. One of her very "best" friends from Northern California in particular, tells me everything and it's really twisted too, because I don't ask her, have never asked her, and will never ask her anything about this particular idiot, so the intel I receive randomly is purely entertaining or at the very most an interesting study in human behavior. It's like a train wreck, I guess, once you start watching you just can't look away...
It got me to thinking about psychological disorders though, so I looked this thing up about narcissistic personality disorder on the Mayo Clinic website and OMG, I gotta say it's spot on:
"Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for admiration. Those with narcissistic personalty disorder believe that they're superior to others and have a little regard for other people's feelings. But behind this mask of ultra-confidnece lies a fragile self-esteem, vulnerable to the slightest criticism."
Apparently, bi-polar is a nice companion for these people too. Fun. I really should have googled years ago. I could've saved my Mom and me a lot of stress, not to mention resources.
But alas, the load is lifted, a burden I carry no more. I've always explained how I still don't really know what I want to be when I grow up, but through my life I've been able to figure out the things I DON'T want to do via a sometimes tricky process of elimination. Rest assured, I have figured out that I DON'T want to be a birth-mother integration facilitator. Ever. Definitely not adding that title to the "seeking" category of the 'ole resume. Thankfully all that's left are the occasional entertaining snap shots of her needy posts and uninformed political and social rants. Thank you to her friends who shall remain nameless...Oh how I do love a good laugh.
