I'm under AIRROSTI

AIRROSTI...I totally thought it was the guy's name or something. It's actually an acronym for Applied Integration for the Rapid Recovery Of Soft Tissue Injuries. And it hurts. A doctor of chiropractic actually administers the treatment. The table looks like a typical chiropractic one but I believe there are fewer than 100 DCs certified through this approach and did I mention it hurts?

The Rolling Stones, "Under My Thumb" should be this guy's theme song.

Basically, since I don't speak physiology or anatomy, he jabs his thumb hard down into specific points along the back (& hip in my case), holds it for a few seconds, jabs it deeper, then in some areas, he drags it like a drudging machine. Bruising is common. Swelling is too. Ice is recommended. It's all about the facia. It's also about the slow sustaining pain. It hurts so much it makes the pain I'm there complaining about not seem so bad.

It hurt...but I felt something good within minutes of standing up. I'm very skeptical having tried almost everything from a rheumatologist to an acupuncturist, but I'm thrilled to be (dare I say) cautiously optimistic.

I go back Wednesday and Friday. Supposedly they have a hugely high percentage of patients who are basically cured after three visits. I seriously hope that's me.

My lower back and right hip hurt ALL THE TIME. I'm NEVER pain free. NEVER. I am awakened every night multiple times by my hip pain mostly. I can't figure out what the heck is wrong with me. My back is exceedingly stiff after sitting for just a few minutes. So stiff, that I can't even stand up straight when I first stand...like I walk bent over for a few minutes. It's so frustrating and embarrassing, especially when I'm dressed really cute otherwise and we're at a really nice restaurant or event. It's just not graceful or sexy to walk hunched over in platform Gucci sandals and a skinnyish Missoni dress.

Side bar: I swear I opted for my recent hysterectomy as soon my Ob/Gyn passingly mentioned that in some very rare cases back pain can be eliminated. I said, "sign me up immediately." Honest to God, I secretly hoped removing my uterus and my ovaries would somehow cure my pain. Cue that word again: CRAZY. That's not to say I didn't have other reasons to opt for the hyster, but the REAL reason I wanted to go for it was that unlikely off-chance for a pain cure.

So...now I have hot flashes to go with my back/hip pain. Aww man. I don't know, but I swear if there was some treatment proven effective which required me to sleep in a canoe filled with Jello, I would do it.

If this thing miraculously works for me, I will seriously shout it from my roof top...nah, I might fall. I'll shout "YIPPIE" though, just as loud as I can. Acronym: Yelling In Pure Pain-free Incidental to Euphoria